Flying Leap

Flying Leap Into Parenthood!

2010-08-27T17:02:00.003-04:00

I have not posted for a very long time, and if anyone is still reading, I have a fabulous excuse.

Let me briefly give some background to our story...

My husband, Chris, and I have been on our adoption journey since April, 2008 after trying for 10 years to start a family on our own. We began our journey waiting to adopt from Ethiopia. Due to rule changes by the Ethiopian government, we were unable to continue on that path. We changed to domestic adoption with Catholic Charities this past April. We were told the wait was generally 2-4 years unless you were open to any race then it may be shorter. We loved our international social worker with C.C. and we met our domestic social worker and we love her also! We found out that we would need to take more classes, and we were on a waiting list for an opening.

In May, we got the good news that there was an opening which felt like a huge cause to celebrate since there probably wouldn't have beeen another class until the winter.

Our last class was on June 30, 2010. Our social worker was tired because she had a birthmom go into labor 3 weeks early and deliver that Tuesday a few counties away. (She had been spending time with the birthmom as her support person). After class, she nonchalantly asked what were doing that July4th weekend. We told her we were just relaxing onver the weekend and scheduled her visit to our home to update our homestudy for July 6.

( I realize this seems unimportant and tedious, but just bear with me...)

The next day, Chris and I were getting ready to leave our office. A little after 5pm one of the office lines rang. I answered and it was our social worker. She asked if I had a minute and said she had a situation arise. I figured there was something wrong with our paperwork. As it turns out, the birthmom she mentioned in our class the previous night asked her to chose the family for her newborn child, She told us it was a boy! He was 3 weeks early, but very healthy! And the best part..."He is being discharged at 11:30 am tomorrow, would you like to come get him???!!!" Now through all of this, SW was very calm and collected. I, on the other hand, was a basket case ;) She told me to talk to Chris, and gave me her cell # to call her back either later that evening or early in the morning. I said, "No, I'll call you back in 5 minutes!!!!!"

Chris said, "Well, we aren't ready yet." (meaning that we had an unassembled crib, baby gates, a bouncy seat, no car seat, no stroller, the room wasn't ready, no clothes, no diapers or other supplies)

My response: "I can guarantee you we will be ready by the time we leave to get him in the morning!" He started texting and calling everyone he knew. I called my mom and whisked her to Target. By the time I got home our friends, neighbors, and family had banded together and brought us a bassinet, clothes, volunteered to clean the house while we would be gone the next day,and I cound go on and on...We are so truly blessed.

After a sleepless night (I tried to, I really did) we were on the road to go get our son. It certainly was very surreal. On the way, we discussed names (yeah, we hadn't done that yet either). By the time we got there, we were decided on his first name, Brennan.

I know when we arrive to the hospital, I had the "doe in the headlights" look about me :) I was in complete shock, I couldn't belive we were picking up our son!!! We first filled out some paperwork with our social worker. Then she took us up to the maternity ward. The butterflies were doing overtime in my stomach by the time. Would his birthmom want to meet us? Would we know what we were doing in taking care of a newborn? Would he like us? So many questions. We were directed to the waiting room. A few minutes later a nurse with a bassinett with a baby in it stopped and asked if we would like to meet our son? What are you kidding? Of course we do!! But I was still in shock :) She took the 3 of us to a delivery room, which she thought was kind of cute. She showed us how to change his diaper, and gave us tips on feeding him, then she left us alone with him. What?! Wait a minute! I'm new at this! But you know what? We were all great! We spent our first minutes as a family fulfilling his immediate need for food...and we fell in love :)

About a half hour later she came back to check on us. Then she took us to the nursery to coach us on giving him a sponge bath. Needless to say, he's not too fond of the sponge bath. Then we dressed him to BRING HIM HOME. And he slept the whole way.

So there is our story. I would like to keep up with this to document our life together. We are so blessed by this wonderful gift that has been entrusted to us. Brennan has been home almost 2 months, and he turns 2 months old on Sunday. It feels like it just happened yesterday, and at the same time I can't remember life before he was a part of ours.

Introducing... Brennan Christopher

Leaving the hospital

I will post more picutes as soon as I get a chance, he changes everyday :)

2010-05-18T06:23:00.018-04:00

Dear Birth Family,

We first of all want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for wanting to learn more about our family. We respect you and your courage as you seek to discover the right path for you and your child. We can't possibly understand the vast range of emotions you must be experiencing, but our prayer is that you find peace in whatever decision you make.

We are Chris and Kristin Courtney. We li ve in a small college town in rural Pennsylvania. We were high school sweethearts who continued dating during and beyond college. 12 years after we met, we got married and have been married for almost 13 years. Chris grew up with a younger sister. Kristin was raised with 2 sisters and a brother. Our families certainly weren't without difficult times, but we were both raised with unconditional love. For both of us, our families continue to be our source of unending love and support.

One year into our marriage, Chris, his mother, and his sister started a family business. Not long after, Kristin joined in. Chris is a licensed private investigator, and we perform criminal and civil background research for our clients. It has been a successful business that continues to provide well for our family. It will also give us the opportunity to parent our child full-time without the use of an outside caretaker. Our office is in Chris' family's home, and our child will be able to come to work with us. If needed, we can work from our home as well.

In our free time we enjoy the outdoors. We enjoy camping, going to the beach for a long weekend, or even just spending time in our own back yard. Although we live in a small town, we are less than 2 hours from larger cultural centers like Washington DC, Baltimore MD, Gettysburg PA, as well as many other wonderful places.

We have known from the beginning that we wanted to have a family of our own. We envision our future child knowing his or her birth family, and we are accepting to whatever level of openness you are comfortable with. Whether you wish for an open adoption, semi-open, or a closed adoption, we respect whatever you feel is the best decision for your family.

We have learned that sometimes the miracle that you pray for isn't necessarily the one that is waiting for you. We have been led to build our family through adoption, and we are humbled and honored to welcome this miracle into our life. Again, thank you for taking the time to learn a little about us. We always have you in our thoughts and prayers. We wish you peace and comfort as you find your way through this difficult decision. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us via email:
kmcourtney@pa.net

With Much Love ,
Chris & Kristin

We Are Going Domestic!!

2010-05-13T20:54:00.003-04:00

Well after lots of discussion, deep thought, and soul searching, Chris and I have made a decision. We are pulling out of the Ethiopia program. We have started the domestic infant process locally. We had another update from our agency on what the 2 trips to Ethiopia would probably look like, and they are telling everyone to expect that both parents will be required on the 1st trip, unless they petition the Ethiopian courts for an exception. We were told, that the reason would have to be quite compelling and exceptional to be approved. We simply can't wait until we get a referral to find out if we can continue or not. So, we have decided that this just isn't a good fit for our family any more. Quite honestly and sadly, if these rules would have been in place 12-18 months ago, we simply wouldn't have even been able to even consider adopting from Ethiopia.

Now for our prayer request from all of you.....we need to do another training before we can have our homestudy updated for domestic infant. It will be next month, but it is full already. Our social worker set an RSVP for this Monday, May 17. If for some reason, one of the couples can't make it, we are next on the list to be invited. Otherwise we have to wait until the next training in the fall or winter. We are asking for everyone to say a little prayer, or send positive thoughts our way that we can get invited to the training next month. Our social worker said she should know by Tuesday. So......Say a little prayer for us........

Thanks again everyone for your unending support in the journey to our child!

Re-Tooling the Blog

2010-05-03T21:35:00.003-04:00

You will notice some changes to our blog. We have done this to reflect changes we are going through in our journey to our child.

Well, we have filled out and turned in our intake form for Domestic Infant Adoption. We are not pulling out of Ethiopia just yet. We are hoping to get into the training session for June. At this time there are a few families open to any race ahead of us, but the fact that we are open will be a big plus for us!

Believe me, Chris and I have spent the past few weeks discussing, thinking, losing sleep, praying, thinking some more, discussing some more, and did I mention praying and losing sleep?????? We still pray, lose sleep, discuss...we feel we need to open up our options.

We are also putting ourselves out there, to let others know we are hoping to adopt. It can't hurt. The first person we talked to over 2 years ago adopted domestically, through a private adoption. Simply, she went to a baby shower for a friend,where she met a woman who had a relative that was pregnant and unable to parent. The result...a newly formed family through adoption. Her story is what confirmed for us that we were starting down the right path.

Since then, the journey has been one twisty-turny, hilly, pot-holey road. I'm sure being parents will be similar to this, and with what we are going through to get there, we will cherish every sleepless night, every trial, every tribulation, and every joyous moment that parenting, loving, and nurturing our child will bring. We look forward to experiencing these moments no matter where our child is from. We trust that God already knows who and where our child is , and we trust that He will bring us together.

Thank you everyone for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers, and for continuing to hold us in your hearts.

Don't Know What to Think or Do

2010-04-15T05:50:00.002-04:00

Over the past 2 weeks or so, we have been coming to terms with the loss of our Ethiopian adoption journey. With the 2 trip rule now in effect, we cannot continue. On Tuesday, I contacted our local social worker letting her know we need to explore other options, and to see if she had any suggestions on handling our agency. I was waiting for her response, and I got an email from our agency saying that ONE PARENT MAY NOW TRAVEL ON THE FIRST TRIP WITH THE OTHER PARENT'S POWER OF ATTORNEY. We should be thrilled, right? Why aren't we ecstatic??

I just don't know. We should be thrilled, but we are not. Now we are faced with sticking this out and risking other rule changes along the way that may eliminate us anyway further down the road. Or do we just move on to other options like domestic or private adoption? Our biggest fear is getting a refferal or being very close to getting a referral and then have the ET government decide to require BOTH parents again. We hate to pull out because of the time we have put in already and the money.

We had made peace with changing course, now everything is all jumbled up again. I feel a little crazy, "Yes we are", "No we aren't", "Oh, yes we are again!" Enough already. We have been hearing so many wonderful domestic adoption stories lately, and I still think we are going to explore that a little more. We also have feelers out there for private situations as well.

I just don't know.... we are feeling lost again.

Sigh of Relief?...Nevermind

2010-04-03T07:03:00.002-04:00

Almost 1 year to the day that our dossier was approved and we offically began our wait for our child, we have received the news that the 2-trip rule goes into effect May 9 2010. Anyone who does not have a court date prior to that can expect to travel twice to Ethiopia. We have tossed around many scenerios and just don't see how we can make it work. Again, the expense of the 2 trips is not the issue. Well, it is an issue, but we could have somehow made that part work if only 1 parent was required. We have heard that in extraordinary cases, the Ethiopian courts may make a rare exception. We certainly can't wait for that, if they would turn us down there we would be with a referral, and not be able to complete our adoption. We have also heard that for the first trip you may be able to go over only for the court date. For example you would fly in the night before, meet your child the next morning, go to court later that day, and fly out the following day. Problem is, most flights with layovers and all take 2 days to get there. So we 'd still be looking at 5-6 days of travel. Not to mention, leaving our child there. Not sure I could handle that, and I don't think that it is good for the child either.

We are having a hard time making our country specialist and social worker understand just how vital Chris is to our business. We are a very small family owned business. What Chris does is very detailed and specialized. We have likened it to my grandparents. They had a "mom & pop" grocery store attached to their house for over 60 yrs. They ran it together all that time, just them. Never took a week-long vacation, couldn't close the store that long or you would lose customers. Sometimes my grandmother went on vacation with my parents, but my grandfather would stay behind to keep the store open. They would take long weekends (3 days) but had to make extreme arrangements for deliveries, etc. And my grandfather would be concerned with it all weekend. As you can see, Chris and I are following in their footsteps. Yes, there are incoveniences to owning your own business. But, I love working with my husband, I love the fact that this business will allow us to have our child with us all day.

This truly is heartbreaking for us. In the past year, we've had so much hope. We had spoke in terms of "when our child comes home...", now it feels like "IF we ever have a child...". We have fallen in love with a country, a people, a culture.

So Monday will be a tough day for us. I need to call our country specialist and ask the procedure for removing ourselves from the program. I need to call our social worker, and get connected with the domestic infant social worker there, and I suppose set an appointment to speak with her and get switched over. Then, we get to take more classes in June.

I want to thank EVERYONE for your unending support. Please believe me when I say we can feel your prayers and thoughts, and please continue to pray for us, that we are lead to our child soon.

Breathing a Tentative Sigh of Relief

2010-03-28T07:14:00.002-04:00

Here is the news we got from our agency Friday evening:

"We have been informed that there currently are no plans in place for implementation of the two-trip requirement for Ethiopian adoptions. Although the change was originally slated to begin for April court dates, it no longer looks like this is a possibility. According to our in-country representative, scheduled implementation meetings have not taken place and key members of the group are currently out of the country."

Word is that they don't know if, or when it may go into effect, could be weeks, months, or years. We'll hope for the latter :)

Whew! But, we are still keeping our options open.

Can We Cancel Panic?

2010-03-26T06:19:00.002-04:00

Well, the rumors are flying about the 2-Trip Rule that Ethiopia announced a few weeks ago. We have spent the past few weeks devastated. The part requiring both parents to travel on the first trip meant "game over" for us. 2 days ago someone on the forum mentioned she read a post elsewhere from someone who was just over there. They said that there is a sign outside the court that the new rule is suspended indefinitely.

I understand that there are many families who are happy about the 2 trips (get to see your child sooner, get to experience more of his or her culture and birth county, etc). Believe me, if we could logistically do it we would. Chris not being able to travel does not make us any less of a great family for a child from there. I am hoping that the Ethiopian courts have realized that this rule would eliminate many wonderful forever families for their children.

In the meantime, we are investigating domestic adoption and foster to adopt. We are hoping and praying that our panic was all for nothing.

Our Hope is Fading

2010-03-13T06:38:00.003-05:00

I haven't written in a while because, well not much has been going on until this week. We have celebrated my 40th (or as I like to call it 29th) birthday. My surprise party was snowed out but was surprisingly salvaged the next day on Superbowl Sunday. We were having family over anyway, and I was surprised when friends showed up as well. We all had a wonderful time!

Then the next weekend was our traditional "Italian Wedding Soup Weekend". About 4 yrs ago I learned the recipe from my grandmother who learned from her mother in law who was from Italy. My grandmother and her sister used to make it every holiday season. That was usually Christmas eve dinner when I was little and we went to my grandparents for Christmas. We would usually arrive around supper time, and it would already be on the table...yummy! My grandmother didn't give me a recipe, I had to go up and learn it. My "recipe" is 4-5 pages of notes! Anyway, myself my sisters and my brothers wife have started this tradition of making it on Daytona 500 weekend. It started as a "girls weekend" then the guys and rest of our family would show up Sunday for the race and soup. Well, the guys like to play the wii, so now spouses come, we have a housefull (the way I like it!). Did you ever hear the saying "I cook with wine, and occasionally I put some in the food"? That applies...good thing this recipe doesn't call for wine ;)

Now for adoption news and why we are losing hope.

There have been a few announcements on changes with the Ethiopian adoption program as of late. All to help make and maintain ethical practices in adoption, which we are wholeheartedly behind. But, the most recent change is unfortunately likely to be a game-ender for us. The Ethiopian courts are now requiring 2 trips approximately 2-3 mos apart. This alone is not the worst part. We are far out enough from a referral that we could struggle and scrape and make this part happen. The potential end for us is that both parents must travel on the first trip.

We have been devastated by this news. It probably eliminates us from adopting from Ethiopia. We are sad, furious, frustrated, beaten down, lost, heartbroken ...and I could go on and on. We have been waiting 1 year next month. We have jumped through all the hoops, filled out endless redundant paperwork, watched wait times increase, and we had hope through all of it. Hope that at the end of this our child would be home. That is gone.

Those of you that know us, know we own our own business with Chris' family. One of the reasons we chose Ethiopia was that only one parent had to travel. Chris must stay home to keep the business going, or we will come home unemployed. He just knows too much from 15+ yrs in the field (we do criminal background checks). If we let a client hang for a week with a question or a search that needs special attention we will lose them. It is a sacrifice of having your own business. We don't go on week long vacations, we take long weekends here and there. But the huge benefits: I get the work with the man I love (and Yes, we work well together:), our office is at his parents home, and majority of work is done over fax, email and phone -- no walk in traffic, so its like working at home. Chris and I can even do most of the work from our home if need be (ie last months snow!). And most of all, we would not need to use daycare. This is very important to us! I will be able to either work from home with our child, or have the child at our office with me. or both depending on the day. This is integral to how we want to parent our child. So, there it is. That is why we both can't travel. We cannot risk losing that opportunity.

So we don't know what way to turn next. I have an email in to our social worker. Next step is an email to our country specialist. I don't see another option other than turning to domestic adoption, or foster-to-adopt through the county.

I just don't know..........

Looking Into 2010....With Hope

2010-01-02T08:03:00.001-05:00

First of all, Happy New Year!! It has been forever since I have posted. Since my last post, we have been through 3 holidays, a lot of thinking and soul seaching, and a lot of discussion. First, lets do the fun stuff...The Holidays! I won't lie, emotionally this was a very tough season for me. There were times, in the car, by myself that I just couldn't hold the tears back. But, more than that, there were many, many moments of great Joy in this season spent with family and friends. Not to mention all the wonderful, invaluable support, well wishes, and prayers from everyone!Our niece, Camryn (3yrs) and our nephew, Collin (6yrs)

How magical it is to see Christmas through the eyes of children!

The past few years, I have made lasagna the evening after Christmas for family, and my cousin and his family made it down this year.

My cousin, Dan, wife, Michele, daughters, Madelyn and Eden

New Year's Eve is our time for Good times with Good friends! We had a very relaxed evening hanging out at the house watching football and Dick Clark. In attendance:

Mike and Priscilla, our next door neighbors and good friends. Priscilla is expecting and due in July. We are so excited for them!!

Ok, first of all, it was not a wild party!!! Hahahaha. Tobey is totally faking it!! Don't worry he is not passed out. He is such a goofball!!!! These are our very good friends, Tobey, Kelly and Taylor.

Our very good friends, Marc and Amy were also there, but the escaped before the camera came out!

Chris and I.

We really enjoyed spending the last hours of 2009 and the very first minutes 0f 2010 (yes, we were all tired, party was over by 12:30am) with such wonderful people. We are blessed with such terrific friends!

New Year's Day is back to family. Traditionally, we go to Chris' parents first for our first dose of pork and sauerkraut. Chris doesn't care for sauerkraut, so I eat his share too--I love it! Then its off to my sister, Tara's and her family for another round. Thankfully, they eat much later in the day. This year, our favorite Penn State Nittany Lions played in the 1:00 bowl game, so we got there by the 2nd quarter. It was a fun game to watch, the field was swampy! But our Nittnay Lions prevailed and won over LSU!!

Final seconds of the game

WE ARE.........

PENN STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to eat, Chris voluntarily sat at the "kids table". What?!?!?!?

Overall, we had such a wonderful Christmas season! Now, for the update on our adoption process... If you remember, we were in quite a bit of turmoil in our last post almost 2 months ago. Wait times are increasing, and the wait between referral and travel are increasing. After much discussion between ourselves and our local social worker (whom we really like!) we are going to increase our age range from 0-12 mos to 0-3 years. The way we feel, is that just opens us up to more opportunities to meet our child, instead of such a limited range. We realize that along with potentially adopting a toddler there comes many joys as well as many challenges. Perhaps God sees in us a gift or talent that a toddler needs in us parenting him or her. We will be doing a lot of reading on attachment and child development for this age range. We feel good about our decision, and although it may or may not change our wait time our hearts are open to our child whoever he or she might be. :) And yes, I am still very impatient about the wait!!

We have posed a very important question to my brother's wife, Jenn. We will be getting together in the next few weeks to discuss details with them so they can make an informed decision. Hint: Beacuase of owning our own business, Chris will be unable to travel with me to Ethiopia. I don't want to make a formal announcement yet, but we are excited to talk to them !!

So, welcome 2010.! We look ahead with hope...hope that we, and all of our waiting adopting friends see their childrens faces for the first time this year and bring them home!!!!!!!!

Lost...

2009-11-12T07:13:00.000-05:00

We have recently received 2 emails from our agency that have really saddened us. Saddened and confused us as to what should we do. The first was last Friday. It stated that because of limited U.S. Emabassy appointments (only 10 every other week), the wait from referral to travel was expanding to 3-6 mos. Theoretically that means if we accepted a referral for a 12 month old child, he or she could be 18 months at homecoming. Now, we will be first time parents, but I assume there is a big difference in those ages.

The second blow came this past Tuesday. The wait time for referral has been extended to 16mos to 24...yes I said 24, months! As in 2 years. When we first applied it was 12-14. shortly after starting our wait it grew to 12-18 months. I had gradually come to peace with that figuring we hear on a referral next fall, and hopefully travel by the end of 2010. Now, since our wait officially started 4/10/09, we can expect a referral by spring 2011 and travel by fall 2011.......

Warning.... now I am going to throw a fit!

What?!?!?!?!?!? I can't do it. I can't wait 2 years until our child is home!!!!! Period. I want to be a mommy, we want to be parents! I am ready now! We have been ready for a very long time. After trying to conceive for 9 years, the last 2 of which were spent in fertility testing, I can't wait 2 more years. We are ready for our family! And, putting all my selfish reasons aside, this is saddest of all for the children waiting for their forever families. In adoption, what's best for the child is supposed to be in the forefront. You mean to tell me that after a child gets his/her family, that letting him/her hang in limbo for 6 more months is acceptable??? Please don't tell me, I'll make through, everything happens in its own time when it's meant to be, and worst of all to be PATIENT. Every holiday season has been the same for me for the past 3-4 yrs or so. Every year I think, " This will be our last Christmas without our child". Last Christmas I was sure it was true. I had hope. When we got into the Ethiopia program, I knew we would be without our child this coming holiday season, but looked forward with hope and optimism that this will be the last one. Now we face the fact that we may go through the next 2 Christmases childless. This takes all the wind out of my sails, makes my heart so heavy it feels hard to even breathe. (sigh) Please do not judge me for all my ranting. The desire to be a mother, a parent, to love, nurture, raise a child is do deep, so primal, such an unexplainable, miraculous need. I can't be patient anymore.

I understand that adoption comes out of tragedy and loss for the birth mother and child, its bittersweet. I don't want to diminsh that in any way. We are currently talking about which path we want go down or continue on. I am praying for some kind of sign. Our neighbor is a social worker with children and youth services in our county, we may talk to her. We also need to talk to our social worker to see what our options are. I am hoping we can simultaneously wait perhaps domestically and in the ET program and see where God has our child.

Check This Movie Out :)

2009-11-02T06:31:00.000-05:00

This movie looks fantastic. The preview alone brings tears to my eyes, happy, heartfelt tears.......

http://www.theblindsidemovie.com/

I'm Not Particularly Crafty...

2009-10-20T17:16:00.000-04:00

I am not a very crafty person. I have dabbled in some beadwork and enjoy that when I have the time and feel inspired. So when my friend and next door neighbor texted me this past Sunday to invite me over to "scrapbook", I was a little unsure. We don't even print out pictures that often. Anyway, my neighbor Priscilla said one of her friends would be there and ...wine, so who was I to refuse?? :)' Now, let me preface this by saying that several years ago I had been invited to a Creative Memories party, and just didn't really get into it that much. I figured we'll gab, cut a few things out, stick some stickers , gab some more, and drink some wine. In the back of my head was a voice telling me this would be a good time to start our child's lifebook.

So I go next door with the few pictures I printed and walked into a Scrapbooking Storm!!!! Cardstock upon cardstock, scissors...no like 20 different kinds of scissors that cut different edges, rubber stamps piled high and near as many stamp pads all different colors, bags of buttons (why buttons? ) and machines!!! Yes machines. I was so overwhelmed I felt like I walked into a Dr Seuss illustration, you know, the ones with the gadgets piled on top of eachother precariously?

I took a sip of wine.

Pricilla and her friend took me under their crafty wings ...and we scrapbooked. I had so much fun. What was different this time as oppoesed to the very first party I went to ? This time I had something to scrapbook about...

I was INSPIRED. THIS IS FOR OUR CHILD. :)

Thanks Priscilla and Tiffany for the most delightful afternoon!! I look forward to continuing this while we wait. And thanks to our child whoever You are for inspiring me. The results are below...

Not Much to Say, So We'll Do Wordless Wednesday!

2009-10-14T06:33:00.000-04:00

My First "Worless Wednesday"

2009-09-30T07:09:00.000-04:00

By The Way...

2009-09-18T10:11:00.000-04:00

Not that this means anything, and its by no means official, but on the "Unofficial Unoffial List" we have moved to 82. On the "Reality Unofficial List" that puts us at #298. Wooo Hooo!! We dropped under 300, barely :) I know this still puts us a long way off, but seeing progress makes me feel hopeful.

Still Busy...

2009-09-18T08:01:00.000-04:00

Well, summer is quickly coming to an end. As I mentioned before, we have been busy, busy, busy. And we still are. First of all, on the adoption front, whats happening?? NADDA, nothing. Just a lot of waiting and me getting crazier ;)'
It's ok. I figure if I'm going to be crazy while waiting for our first child, that's acceptable and probably a little "normal". Right now, there's nothing I'd rather be crazier about!

Back in June I mentioned a list of things Chris and I wanted to get done before our child comes home. We got a biggie done last week...

Living Room Before

Living Room After (with new laminate flooring)

Swiffer away!

The highlight of the past 2 weeks has been the wedding of our wonerful neighbors, Mike and Priscilla. We were so happy to share in their special day!

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Baumgartner!!!

So now, we hope to slow down a little. September is almost over, we've been waiting 5 mos. Before we know it October will be here and the air will get crisper. As much as I hate to see summer go, Fall brings us one season closer to our baby.

Yes, We're Still Here...

2009-09-03T07:06:00.000-04:00

What a whirlwind of a summer it has been!! We were so busy, busy, busy. It's so hard to believe that it is September already, and my brother, Tom, has been married to Jenn for a month! Their wedding weekend was certainly the highlight of our summer. A wonderful weekend was had by all on her parent's farm, Grouse Ridge Kennels in Oxford, NY. It was so nice to spend time with family and friends, old and new. Here are some pictures from the special day...

The bridal party arriving at the rehearsal dinner in style

Inside pavillion at rehearsal dinner -- food was awesome!

Tom (the groom) and Tara (sister) --the Twins

oops...got this on here again...don't know how to delete it??????
Oh, the "waver" is Aunt Peggy

Alecia (sister), Dad, Me

Reception tent as seen from ceremony site

Katie Flanagan, Mother of the Bride

Pete Flanagan, Father of the Bride, escorting his daughter to Tom

Mr & Mrs Thomas Bradley, the happy couple!

Meant To Be.............

On the adoption front, of course a whole lot of nothing has happened. The 50 referrals that came down in July....came to a screeching halt. There have been no referrals for several weeks. It was explained to us by our country specialist that it has to do with the court closure which will be over by Oct. 1. Basically, the care centers are at capacity until more families can travel to be united with their children. She did mention that there could be another big batch of referrals once the courts reopen. As we are seeing how things are unfolding, we are expecting to be close to hearing something around this time next year...lots of time to prepare (as if we weren't ready already haha).

We have been going to Tajitu (Ethiopian restaurant in Frederick ,MD) at least once a month. The owners now remember us when we visit. We have been introducing friends to Ethiopian cuisine, so far everyone has liked it. Its about time for us to go again.....

So all in all it was a good summer, lots of activity to keep me distracted. Now, not so distracted. I have good days and bad days where I feel like this will never happen. I have feelings of helplessness because I feel like I should be doing something.....something......anything......to prepare for our child. So we wait, and wait, and wait...

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling...

2009-07-21T07:43:00.000-04:00

...the referrals keep on rolling! I had mentioned that 2 weeks ago, there were 29 referrals in our agency. The update we received yesterday stated that last week there were 21 referrals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew! 50 in 2 weeks!!

Our heartfelt congratulations to all the families who have seen their children's faces for the first time. How exciting!!!!!!!!

"Recent referral activity reflects an uptick in number of new referrals from Ethiopia. This uptick is a result of Mussie orphanage providing child welfare services in new areas of the Southern Region. Like all referrals, these new referrals indicate the region or area the child comes from." --from the CHSFS Ethiopia hotline update, 7/20/09.

This is exciting. It could mean that maybe we won't quite make it to 18 months, maybe it could be a little sooner if this keeps up. With MOWA closed until 7/24 for staff training and to address staffing needs, and the courts staying open through August; could this mean we are witnessing positive changes to help unite children with their forever families sooner? We can only hope :)

A Long Way To Go, But Progress Is Progress!

2009-07-17T07:15:00.000-04:00

I wasn't going to mention this yet, we are way too early on in "the wait". But since it's one of my "obsessions", I will explain...

Our adoption agency does not publish a waiting list of the waiting families in the Ethiopia program. I guess mainly because there can be so many factors involved in placing a child with his or her forever family; it doesn't always go precisely in order. There are, however, 2 lists I am tracking. The forum on our agency's website is keeping a list of everyone who wants to participate. This is what I call the "Unofficial, Unofficial List". As of yesterday, we are 88 on that list (we started around 101). Connected to the UU list is an estimator, or what I call the "Unofficial Reality List". There are around 380 families in our agency's ET program, so this gives us more of an idea where we stand in the big picture. Currently, we are around #346.

So we wait, and we wait, and we wait. Last week was fabulous with referrals (29 total!). So here's to praying for the same this week!

Not "The" News, But Good News

2009-07-15T07:25:00.000-04:00

Last week proved to be a fabulous week for waiting families in our agency (CHSFS). The most recent update informed everyone that there were 29...yes I said 29, children matched with their forever famlies through CHSFS. Since we have been waiting, the highest weekly number I had seen was 10, so this is great!! Congratulations to all the families who laid their eyes on their children for the first time :)

Two weeks ago there had been a lot of concern in the ET adoption community. Every year, the ET courts close for the months of August and September which significantly extends the wait for parents to travel to be united with their children. In order to get a court date (parents are not present for court, but after passing court, a new birth certificate is issued listing them as the parents and all necessary paperwork can proceed thru the US Embassy for visas, passports, etc) you need a letter of support from the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA). We found out early last week that MOWA will be closed until 7/23. You can imagine the understandable panic among familes w/referrals waiting for court dates! MOWA's closing is for assessing staffing needs and for staff training.

Well, yesterday, more good news. The ET courts are remaing open through August!! WOO HOO!! Many happy families are breathing sighs of relief and jumping for joy. I am hoping all the uncertainty in this process is to accommodate growing pains that ET adoption seems to be experiencing. Hopefully this will streamline the process and help to unite children with their families more quickly. They get fantastic loving care at the CHSFS care center, but nothing can be substitue for a family.

On a Happier Note...

2009-07-11T07:34:00.000-04:00

Despite the previous entry, there was a lot of spectacular news in our adoption forum this week. Of the people participating in the forum, at least 8 families that I could count received and accepted referrals this past week. WOOOHOOO and congratulations to all of them!! Now, that doesn't count everyone in the Ethiopia Program who may have received referrals but do not take part in the forum...so there are probably more. :)

Yesterday was our 3 month "waitaverssary" too (if original wait time was 12-18 mos) so only 9-15 mos to go...still sounds like a long time, huh? Unfortunately, our internet was down all day...across the whole county...so I couldn't post here, chech my email, peruse the forum, etc. I'm catching up this morning.

Some fun tonight...cocktail/bachelorette party for my brother's fiancee, Jenn. Won't be too wild, the mother-of the-bride, and mother-of-the-groom are invited. Mom, myself, my sister Alecia, and my other sister, Tara are going together. It should be fun. Hopefully, I will have pictures to post tomorow.

Very Sad

2009-07-11T07:28:00.001-04:00

Who would think that in 2009 and in such a culturally diverse city, that racism still rears its very ugly head...

Two weeks ago outside Philadelphia, sixty-five children from a summer camp tried to go swimming at a club their camp had a contract to use. Evidently, the club didn't know the kids were largely Black.
When the campers entered the pool, White parents took their kids out of the water, and the swimming club's staff asked the campers to leave. The next day, the club told the summer camp that their membership would be canceled and that they would refund their money. When asked why, the club's leader said the "kids would change the complexion ... and the atmosphere of the club."
A "Whites only" pool in 2009 should not be tolerated. The club's actions appear to be a violation of section 1981 of the Civil Rights Act. Whether or not any laws were violated, a "Whites only" pool should be something every American condemns.
I've just joined ColorOfChange.org in doing exactly that -- will you join me, and email your friends and family asking them to do the same? We're also calling on the Department of Justice to evaluate suing the facility under federal law. It takes just a moment to do both, here:

http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1798-910224

We all know stories like this one -- similar incidents play out quietly every day in different communities across the country. The difference in this case is that folks got caught and there was a contract in place that makes for a potentially illegal act.
Standing up now isn't just about making things right for these kids in Philadelphia or bringing consequences to this swim club (called the Valley Swim Club). It's about creating a climate of accountability everywhere. If we can publicly shame the Valley Swim Club and hold them accountable for this incident, it will make others think twice before engaging in this kind of discrimination.
Please join me in condemning the Valley Swim Club's blatant discrimination and calling on the Justice Department to investigate whether they violated civil rights laws. And please ask your friends and family to do the same.
http://www.colorofchange.org/swim/?id=1798-910224
Thanks.

This is Important

2009-07-08T07:32:00.000-04:00

I have been following this issue for about a week now. It is important. As it stands right now, when adopting internationally, children brought home enter the U.S. as immigrants. This bill would change that, making the child a U.S. citizen as soon as the adoption is finalzed by the courts in the child's country of birth. If this passes, our child would enter the U.S. as an American citizen entitled to all the rights of a natural-born citizen. Basically, it would be like he/she was born to American parents on foreign soil.

If you are an adoptive family, are in the process of adopting, or know an adoptive family, please check out the link below. There is a background article that explains this bill much better, and there is also a petition attached. Please feel free to sign it if you feel moved to do so. Thanks!! :)

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/face-act-of-2009.html

Vogue Mama

2009-07-03T06:50:00.000-04:00

We don't have any new updates or news. I thinks this far out, this will be the case more often than not. The forum on our adoption agency's website has been such a life line to me. This morning there was a post about this article another fourum mom wrote for Vogue magazine about adoption from Ethiopia...Enjoy!

http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/2009/06/madonna-and-child/?mbid=rss_feature

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY HONEY!!

2009-06-22T07:15:00.000-04:00

I know I'm a day late posting...Happy Father's Day Chris, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had a wonderful day yesterday. We had a cookout for my Dad's birthday/Father's Day at our house. We were joined by my sister, Tara, Aaron, her hubby, my niece Camryn, and my nephew Collin. Also my sister Alecia and her boyfriend Mark, my brother Tom and fiancee Jenn were there. Everyone had a lot of fun. We had so much fun as a matter of fact that I was too busy to take any pictures :) One thing Chris will vouch for, we love to have our friends and family at our home!!!!

On Saturday we took very good friends of ours to the Ethiopian restaurant in Frederick, MD called "Tajitu". We love this place!! They really enjoyed it as well. This time we got to meet and talk to one of the owners. We had mentioned to our server that we are adopting from Ethiopia. She must have mentioned it to him and he came out and talked with us. He said when we are ready to travel, he can give us helpful information. I told him, he will be seeing us there often. We are trying to go once a month.

So, on this day after Father's Day, I want to thank Chris for being such a wonderfully loving and patient husband. He has been instrumental in getting me through the tough days in this journey to our child with his love, support and a little humor when needed. I love you Chris, and you are going to be an awesome Dad!

Our Wish

2009-06-16T07:13:00.000-04:00

I was just on the forum for our agency and replied to a thread that was a little free give-away contest. All you had to do was post your wish for your child. It was a random drawing. I was reading eveyone's wishes, and decided to add mine. We had to write similar things for our autobiography and answer similar questions for our homestudy. It's sometimes very hard for me to find the right words to express something felt so deeply. How do you emcompass such vast emotions and soulful feelings into a few mere words? So I dug down deep and typed. I posted my reply and kept reading only to realize that this contest was from LAST YEAR!! UGGGGHHHH :)

I will post it here instead. So here it is, in a few small words. I hope it gets our point across....

As we wait for our little one, our wish for him or her is that he/she always knows and feels loved so deeply by his Forever Family and his Birth Family. And, we wish to instill in him/her a sense of wonder, faith, optimism, and hope in this amazing World we live in.

2 Months Down...How many to Go?!

2009-06-10T21:11:00.000-04:00

Today is our 2 month "waitaverssary". Well, if the original wait we were told was 12-18 mos, that means we only have 10-16 mos to go! We are praying to hear something or be very close to hearing something by mid-late summer, 2010. Seems a long way off. I'm hoping when we are united with our child it will probably seem like no time at all.

We have a few things around the house we want to get done before " baby" comes. Laminate flooring in our living room and hallway is probably the biggest project. Some painting (master bath, Chris' office and starting "baby's" room), landscaping, solidifying deck steps, and I'm sure we'll think of more. Personally, I want to improve my time-management skills. I'd love to get down a cleaning schedule (to space it out through the week), set aside bill paying time (whooppie:), and most importantly exercise time for me. There, I said it in front of all my family and friends and the entire "blog world"!!! Now I am accountable to you all. No personal training for me; I'm calling it "Mommy-Training". Seriously, I need to lose at least 30-40 lbs and get in better shape. Really, we will probably be bringing home a 10-15 lb baby. There's no working up to it...I need to be ready.

Nope, no marathons, iron man competitions, or triathalons for me. I'll be working out to carry "baby" most of the time. With how long we've waited, I can't imagine even wanting to ever put him/her down :) We have a wii fit, an elliptical trainer, and of course the beautiful outdoors for walks. I don't have any excuses!!

So, heres to two months of waiting over, and to my blog and forum buddies, here's to hoping the rest goes swiftly!! ;)

The Long Road Ahead of Us...

2009-06-09T07:49:00.000-04:00

Last week, we participated in a conference call with our agency. They have recently gone through some restructuring to better serve waiting families. Mostly, they covered the issue of extended wait times. We are still looking at a 14 to 18 month wait to be matched with our child. I am expecting that we will hear something next summer-early fall. I have to keep in mind that the process, although lengthy, is always to keep the best interests of the child at heart.

They are going to be doing these "update conference calls" once a month. Also, they are hoping to have our country specialist call us once a month, even if there is no news. I am really looking forward to this. I think the monthly contact from our agency will really help me through the waiting. Plus, if they keep up with it once a month, that means only 12-18 phone calls until we meet our child!
I'm CRAZY, right?????? Hey, anything that helps me see progress will help at this point.

10 referrals last week!!!!!! Congratulations to all the families who saw their children for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!

So... yes, we are still waiting, but everyday we wait brings us 1 day closer to our child. :D

Making Peace With the Wait

2009-06-03T07:01:00.000-04:00

My first 7 weeks of waiting has been very ...shall we say challenging. I have felt like a race horse in the gate before a race. All hyped up, excited to run, busting at the seams, just waiting for that gate to fly open so he can just run for all he's worth! I've been emotional, giddy, and even crabby at times (My apologies to everyone who has had to put up with me:).

There are a few things that have seemed to help me, at least for now...

I joined the forum on our adoption agency's website and have met so many families who are at about the same point in the process as we are. We are waiting together! I have also met many families who have recently received referrals for their children (woo hoo!!), waiting for their court date in ET (officially becomes their child), and waiting to travel to bring their children home. It's also wonderful to talk to families who have already brought their children home. I posted a thread asking how others are enduring the wait, and I received several replies loaded with great advice and support. I was overwhelmed! Besides all the valuable advice, they let me know that I'm not crazy:) and I am not alone. If any of my new forum buddies read this blog...thank you from the bottom of my heart for such a warm welcome.

There are often posts by families who receive referrals. There have been a few since I joined the forum...congratulations to you all!!

Secondly, we have met a wonderful couple who live 30 minutes from us. They are also adopting from ET (Ethiopia) and using the same agency (CHSFS). We have been waiting about the same amount of time. We really enjoy getting together with them!

We have learned that CHSFS will also be providing more support during the wait. Possibly including a monthly phone call from our country specialist even when there's no news. I love this idea, because I think it's the "nothingness" of waiting that drives me crazy.

Thank you to all our family and friends!! Your support is important to us! We are glad that you are as excited as we are to welcome our child home when the time comes. We love you all!!

Finally, Chris, future Daddy...thanks for your patience. I know sometimes it seems that all I say is "baby,baby,baby,baby,baby,baby..." I know you are just as excited as I am! We all deal in different ways. I love you!!!!

Thoughts on Mother's Day

2009-05-12T05:55:00.000-04:00

I was so excited about that Ethiopian restaurant on Sunday, I forgot to jot down some other thoughts I had on Mother's Day.

I was very touched by a few events on Mother's Day. My mom gave me my first Mother's Day card for a Mother-to-Be. A wonderful woman I work with bought chocolate covered strawberries for all the mothers and moms-to-be, and she made sure I got one. My huband, Chris, wished me a Happy Mothers Day as we sat down to a nice dinner he prepared. (That one almost made me cry).

I can understand sometimes it can be difficult for others to recognize that those of us who are in the adoption process are "pregnant" too. Whether we are in the seemingly endless paperwork process, waiting to be matched with the child meant for us, or waiting to travel to bring our child home, we go through the same emotions as all mothers-to-be. We just don't have all the physical symptoms of a pregnancy.

We still think about the child we are waiting to meet...all the time:) We wonder what he or she be like, what kind of personality will he or she have, what he or she will grow up to be. What will it be like to lay eyes on him or her for the very first time? We have the same worries too. Will we bond right away, will I know what his or her cries mean, will I instinctively know what to do for him or her, will he or she be healthy, have we child-proofed enough, will I be a good mother...?

Those of us who are adopting, may not be pregnant physically, but we are pregnant in our heart and soul. We anxiously await the arrival of the child God has chosen for us. So, thank you Chris, Mom, Mary Jane, and Christen for recognizing me a mom-to-be on Mother's Day.

"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"
Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Happy Mother's Day!!

2009-05-10T18:15:00.000-04:00

Myself and Jenn, sis-in law (and what was left of dinner - not much :)'

Chris and I (traditional mesob behind me)

Tom and Jenn (getting married in August --woo hoo!!)

Happy Mothers Day to to all mom's and mom's-to-be!!

Officially waiting 1 month today...only 11-17 mos to go (hahaha).

We went to an Ethiopian Restaurant in Frederick, MD yesterday. It was fantastic!! It was called "Tajitu". My brother, Tom, and soon-to-be sister-in-law, Jenn, joined us, and what a wonderful time we had. We sat at an authentic Ethiopian table called a "mesob". Its like a 3 ft tall basket with a large, round, shallow, bowl-shaped basket on top. Ethiopian meals are kind of a celebration of family and community. As the food is ready, they bring out what looks like a large pizza tray covered with 1 layer of injera. Injera is like a thin. spongy tortilla. in front of each of us was 3 small piles of side dishes (recognized chopped red beets, goat cheese, ET potato salad, couscous or a wheat salad --doesn't matter what it was, it was all good:) Next they brought out what each of us had ordered. They just put it directly on the injera in front of you. And guess what, no utensils!! We were also brought a basket of small pieces of injera rolled up. Eating with your fingers is strongly encouraged... and fun. I forgot to mention that prior to any food coming out, they bring a basket of hot, wet towels to clean your hands.

They also provided us with a "cheat sheet" of Ethiopian dining ettiquette. Mainly, no licking fingers, putting fingers in your mouth, and no eating off someone elses food. The last rule we all didn't bother with. After all we are family!! This style of dining does encourage feeding each other if you like. Since we all ordered different meals, we did this to try each others' meals. I ordered Doro Wat (spicy chicken "stew"). Chris had lamb. Tom had beef (tibs). Jenn had shrimp. Their's looked similar to stir fry or like a fajita mixture. All the food was excellent!!!! We finished our meal with traditional Ethiopian coffee. This will knock your socks off!!! It is strong but not really bitter; very flavorful.

After dinner we walked around downtown Frederick for a little while. Had an awesome time with Tom and Jenn!!

2009-04-28T08:38:00.000-04:00

Well, we've been officially waiting 18 days, how am I going to make it 12-18 mos? I am itching to start preparing for our child to come home. We had been cautioned against getting a lot of "baby things" until we actually receive our referral, because until then we don't know if our child will be a boy or a girl. Also, since we requested a child 0-12 mos at time of referral, we are unsure of how old our child will be when he or she comes home. We are anticipating he/she will be a little over 1 year old. So, I guess there are some basics that we can think about, not to mention "childproofing" the house.

We have started trying to get into better physical shape as we will most likely not be starting with a newborn only weighing 6-8 lbs. When our child comes home, I am guessing he/she will weigh at least 15 lbs. We have read that to promote attachment with us we should hold/carry him or her as much as possible. A workout I am looking forward to! And, I am always looking for suggestions on how to fill our time while we wait...

2009-04-11T08:29:00.000-04:00

Sorry we haven't updated in quite a while. We were immersed in paperwork for our dossier, and our business was slowed by the lousy economy in January, February which cased some concern. All of a sudden, in the 2nd half of March our business got "crazy busy" again, thank God!!! Needless to say, we have felt quite overwhelmed these first few months of 2009.

The dossier took us a little while to compile all these letters and info that need notarized. We turned it in to our SW at Catholic Charities on Friday, April 3. What a relief!! She sent it on to CHSFS (our national agency that will deal w/Ethiopia) just this past week. This morning when I checked my email we received great news...our dossier is approved and on its way to the Dept of State, the Ethiopian Embassy, and eventually the Ethiopian Govt. They roughly estimate a 12 month wait for a referral. I guess you could say we are "expecting" :)

2009-01-14T08:19:00.000-05:00

My intentions for our next entry was to let everyone know what part of the adoption process we are currently in. Back in May 2008, we applied with Catholic Charities adoption services in Harrisburg, PA. Because they don't directly deal with Ethiopia, we also needed a larger internationa agency. We chose Childrens Home Society and Family Services in Minnesota. We completed 10 hours of adoptive parenting classed required by the Hague Convention for international adoption. On November 1, 2008 our social worker came to our home for the "home visit" portion of our home study. I was all uptight about it (of course Chris was completely relaxed!). Turned out there was nothing to worry about. She was at our home for almost 4 hours. Besides inspecting our home (for safety) most of it was talking about ourselves and the autobiographies we had to write for our application. All in all, we really enjoyed talking with her!! Our social worker completed our home study (which is inclusive of much more than the visit -- lots of paperwork!!) a few weeks later. Everything then got forwarded to CHS for their approval.

We received our approval yesterday!! We weren't expecting it for 2 more weeks. It really made our day. Next up...working on our Dossier. This is the packet of paperwork that will be submitted to the Ethiopian government. In a nutshell, it seems to be a "summary" of all the paperwork we've done already, but all of this needs to be notarized. We thought the application paperwork was daunting, but this tops it.

2009-01-10T18:36:00.000-05:00

Well everybody, here we go!!!!!! Here is our story. We'll try to make it brief, as many of you know of our journey so far. Chris and I have been very happily married for almost 12 years. Our desire to start a family began about 9 years ago. After several years with no results, we did the infertility testing with no definitive reason why we couldn't get pregnant. We were referred to Hershey Medical Center if we wanted to persue further medical involvement. After a lot of soul searching, tears, and revelation, we came to the realization that we just want to be a mommy and daddy --- we want to bring a child into our family to love, nurture and watch grow to be the best "whatever" he or she can be. I have to admit, Chris was suggesting the adoption route a lot sooner than I was ready for it. He was so patient and supportive of me, waiting for me to catch up to him. We feel this is the path we were destined to take, and we are so excited!!